I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel