Well douche your snatch and let's go!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.