Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
