I'm really into asian looking animals
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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