how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You need Xanax blowdarts
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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