But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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