that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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