No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
