you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
