the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
operation harelip BJ is a go
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
