Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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