Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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