laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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