hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
