I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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