I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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