Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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