so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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