Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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