go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
