i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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