remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
