What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
