youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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