oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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