You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
