dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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