Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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