it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
