i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
