I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
