so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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