I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
