so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
