john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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