Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
