She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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