Those balls look pretty dangerous.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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