so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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