i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize