why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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