Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
