I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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