I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
