brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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