Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize