YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
