She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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