we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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