dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
