Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she smelled like a LAN party
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
