So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
