My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i out mim tonsoeep
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