I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
