Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
