But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize