FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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