Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
how does that bad decision feel?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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