So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
