I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
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She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
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I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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