Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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