If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize