I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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