it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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