No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
