youre lurking in front of me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Randomize
