I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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