Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
